Saturday, November 3, 2012


Our golden retriever passed away this month. It was much harder than I imagined to say Good-bye and go through the grief. Although I have had pet's before my parents always gave them away early in their lives so I never lived with a pet as long as I did Jake.

I remember when we were contemplating getting a dog. It took about a year of talking to Matthew and trying to convince him that a dog was a good idea. His arguments were they shed, they eat toys and the kids will never be able to have their toys on the floor. They bite, they bark. I really wanted a dog for our family and for my little boy Braiden who also really wanted a dog.

When we got Jake he was the perfect dog. He only barked when someone was at the door. He did nothing that Matthew feared. He was a calm pleasant friendly dog. He was a wonderful family dog. With his passing though I was reminded of how short life is. How I want to treasure every moment. How even the mundane and normal moments I have I shouldn't take for granted.

I was out with my kids and they were chatting about school projects and tests and just their lives. I thought how lucky I was to have these moments with them. I felt this way after Matthew's stroke to. I remember how precious every moment felt after that experience. I want to let go of the hurt and pain and just feel blessed to be present in this moment. Letting go of the past and moving forward treasuring the life that I have. That I am able to be with my family.

I am grateful for Jake and the wonderful dog that he was for our family. I miss him. I am sad that he died and had to leave our family. I am grateful for the reminder of life being precious.

I Need To

I have had to cause and reflect on some negative behaviours from my past.
Things I did that I regret..
At first I felt very defensive.
After I realized  I am not perfect.
I need to love myself.
I need to love those people who I have hurt.
I need to try not to hurt while recognizing I am human.
I will stop worrying or living in the past.