Things have changed recently for me. I am working less and home more. I feel so happy about that. I am able to be home and really be a mom. Which has always been my real goal in life.I I am grateful for my job. I love it and I am grateful that life forced me to get a job and help my family. I like working, I like feeling like I am helping those I work with and making a bit of a difference while helping my family too. I am a true stay at home mom though and I love being able to be at home. I am able to make more healthy meals for my family. . I like being around to form strong relationships with my kids. There was a noticed change in my relationship with Sierra since I stopped working all of the time.I must be a little crazy because I am even grateful to be cleaning up after my kids and husband. Times before when I would have complained that they could/should do it themselves I just feel gratitude.
I recently watched Charlie st.cloud with Sierra. It is a Zac Efrom movie so for my budding teeny bopper a must see. She was so excited asking me if it was in at the library yet. We watched the movie and I enjoyed it but it left us to have big discussions about life and death. Sierra asked "why do we have to die mom" I didn't really have an answer for her. She asked "why I and her Dad would likely die first" She was crying and she wouldn't let me hold her and that was hard. Not being able to hold her. It was hard not having any really answers for her too. In my Mormon days I would have had all the answers it was hard and felt a little lame to say I just don't know. I did tell her what I believed, I shared with her how I believed I had felt my mom at periods of time in my life. Not just my Mormon days. Still sometimes you can't give all the answers and I am learning to be okay with that. I got her a bunch of books from the library on near death experiences.She said something I found quite cute and hilarious "Why can't big foot just take us all to the jungle already"
Last night I was watching the TV Show "Friends". I adore that TV show and I have passed on my love for it to Mackenzie and it was an episode that we just laughed our hearts out too. Mackenzie said "I love this show"and I said "I love it too and I loved it first" and she disagreed with me and said that she loved it first.
So I countered with "I loved it before you were even born" She said "I was there when you were watching waiting to be born and watching with you. We both laughed so loud and hard. It was wonderful.
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